Sarah Rixham

Well those were probably the most intense four days of my life. I like highlining because it pushes me out of my comfort zone and in this situation highlining lead me quite far out of it. I have never had to walk a highline under pressure before and not that long ago I would not have been able to. Highlining for a long time really amplified my weaknesses and insecurities, I struggled to be confident in myself and trust my abilities to balance. Yet I kept going, not really knowing if I would reach a place that I was happy with, and to be honest I don't think I will ever be happy; I can always be better and I will keep trying to improve. But I am pretty content right now. I am in control of my balance, my head is strong and I can enjoy floating on a highline more than ever.

 

My motivation to highline in Sheffield was simple; I want to highline everywhere, mostly because I am addicted to the feeling of balancing on a highline, but also because it makes me experience a place in a different way from on the ground. I have never organised an urban highline before but with entering a video to the festival and a record to my name it seemed like the perfect opportunity to organise something. It's a special opportunity to be able to highline between buildings and it does take some time to persuade people that it's a good idea. Most of my urban highline plans included night missions to secret places trying to avoid the public eye. To actually be allowed to do it for once seems pretty special, and from the positive public reactions it seems like more than worth it for the people who host it.

 

The weeks building up to ShAFF were busy with work, but I tried my best to get lots of highline training in to build my confidence. So after the stress of reports and presentations at uni was over, my attention turned to highlining.

 

Rigging the line was not something I was worried about, we can always work out a solution and we did with a few almost-hiccups on the way, but with the experience of Chill we were very happy with the final rig. I wanted to practice on the line before having to walk it in the morning in front of expecting people. I was tired and hungry but I was also drawn easily to the highline.

As I stand up I have no stress anymore. The webbing feels soft against my feet and I am calm. The view ahead is stunning as dusk descends on Sheffield. As I keep walking my mind is pretty quiet, which is not always the case, I'm not worried about the next days. As I pass the middle and start walking uphill I find that the line becomes more difficult. As I did not stretch or warm up I find it hard to get my posture right walking uphill. Five meters to the end I start to wobble and after fighting for a while I give up and take a leash fall. I'm happy with the walk; the line feels great, just needs a bit more tension to make the ends easier. I walk back bouncing a bit on the way, feeling confident that my mind is in a good place.

 

I wake up feeling stressed. My subconscious mind has clearly been worrying while I sleep, but I'm still confident; I know the feeling of the line is perfect, I just need to stay calm. We get to the line and re-tension it a little. I don't want too much tension as I prefer the slow movements of a loose line - it gives me much more time to correct wobbles and this is how my body is used to moving. It's easy to get into the zone with so much going on. I prepare for the line as usual, but… why is someone filming me? I don't look around, I hardly think about the people who might be watching but I want to walk the line clean. I feel there are expectations of me, which are actually only in my head, but I still want to prove to myself I can do it. I stand up, I'm a bit shaky but I can control the line so I start walking. Then I catch. My body reacts automatically, too quick for me to engage my core to fight the wobble, but what can I do; I stand up again and walk. I try not to go too slow as that gives me more time to lose control of the line. Recently I've been learning to walk in a more flowing manner, constantly correcting as I go, and it feels good to do that. The walk was pretty nervous though, slow and shaky, but I made it to the other end. I walk back and try to play a bit but I’m still a bit tense. As I finish the walk I feel happy. Now I'm motivated for more; the next walk I feel so relaxed, the pressure of the first time has gone and walking seems easy again. And I know I have to do the classic exposure leash fall; it’s always fun for me and probably going to scare the viewers - which I found out later it definitely did! Just these walks were so draining, I really used some intense concentration, which feels great, but as I get off the line I do not feel like talking and words are hard to find for a few seconds.

 

Then the even more intense part happened but I was suitably spaced out to not really remember it. I talked to some people I think...I still can't watch back interviews that I did but I think a lot of people feel like that about hearing their own voice and I will deal with that at some point.

 

The rest of the next two days were a pure pleasure, being able to share the experience walking above Sheffield with my friends was the whole point of the event for me. Just to see their smiling faces as they cross the line, playing, jamming, chilling. And also meeting new people who clearly have a passion for what they are doing and understand ours.

 

I have to thank everyone who was involved for making it possible including; Jenny at Band of Birds, ShAFF, Sheffield Hallan Univeristy, Coldhouse Collective, Rab and Tri-slacklining. I have so much love to all my friends that came and also the new ones I have made, thanks for the help and fun times! 

 

Now I am motivated more than ever for more highlining! If anyone has any ideas for project in the UK or elsewhere, or any climbers or film makes that want to collaborate just let me know!