Why I Love Short Tight Lines
I love long, loose, wobbly, stretchy, soft highlines. They have no anger, they are gentle, they like to surf and swing but never with power or malicious intent. They move slowly like my mind and my body can find a relaxed state at this pace. It may not always be easy but seeing waves snake down the line fills me with amusement and I feel like I'm stepping lightly on clouds as I walk.
It's my turn on the line and I'm nervous with excitement and dread. I don't usually have any hesitation to jump on a line and often cannot control myself in the presence of a free highline but this 30m midline is causing me some stress. I have over time built up in my mind dislikes for short, tight lines and it is creating limitations for me. This is not good. I stand up and the line feels hard and tensioned. My body moves to find balance and finds that its already off the line and catching. Repeated standing up, tensing, shaking and catching follows. Short movements chuck me off as I try to compensate too much and the feeling of tension in my body feels unpleasant. I want to give up and get off, this is not fun - but I know its all in my head. I see the others chilling in flowing walks, enjoying the night experience, playing with lights and having fun. All I want is to walk on a soft, loose line and do the same. I keep trying until I regain a small amount of composure to cross the line and retrieve some solace.
This definitely seems like I'm making quite big deal out of a small thing. I refuse to let my mind stop me from enjoying this line. The next day I get on the line and walk it, after a few crossings my body understands and I am more relax and can finally play. At times I stand and feel the hardness of the line and wish it was soft but I walk and turn, close my eyes and surf and receive the feelings of joy, relaxation, flow and beauty.
Its easy to get on long lines as its ok to fail, there is no pressure and I receive immense exhilaration at just taking a few steps but short lines I avoid. I will fail and each step will feel unpleasant, fast, short and sharp. If I can't do it I will keep trying until I can its all in my head anyway.